Hole in My Heart

I was thinking today that a mother who loses a child or really anyone who loses someone has a hole in their heart that cannot be filled.  I don't know how else to explain why my joy is less than what it was before the loss.  I say this because I've been relatively happy lately...or so I thought. 

I think the problem I'm having is that I know that my heart has been full of more joy.  Perhaps it is leaking out of the hole from the loss of Haylee.  I try to remind myself that the hole will get smaller and the joy will come back.  I know this to be true because of the other losses I have had in my life.  So I will have to be content with the level of joy I achieve.  I have to be grateful that I have it.  I remind myself that my heart is a miracle and will heal with time, love, and prayers.

A beating heart is a sign of life.  A leaking heart is a sign of love and loss.  A joyful heart is a blessing from God.  Count your blessings!

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