My Sister Barb

I just spent the last hour, looking through photo albums for a nice picture of my sister Barb.  Apparently, she was the one behind the camera, as she managed to escape being in many of the photos.  I wanted to remember a happy time because 17 years ago, this day, Friday, the 13th of March, 1998 she was run over by a train at the place where she worked.  I, the one who usually remembers this day, did not until...I wound up at my Dad's house today and one of the first things I said to him was how did you live so long without Barb.  And then I said, didn't you worry about us, her sisters and brothers, and how we felt?  I said (relating my feelings of losing Haylee) that this sucks and he nodded his head.

And then he said:  Isn't it nice, all the things people are saying about Barb today?  I looked at him and thought, OMG, today is March 13!  It was then, that I remembered.  All day, I felt that something was wrong or something was missing...I thought it was work.  I called one of my sisters, to see if she was available to visit...she was not...and I ended up at my dad's house.

I'm glad I got to visit with my dad.  He has had so much sorrow in his 80 years of life...and yet again...he has had so much joy.  He gives me hope that I can make it through anything.  Isn't it funny, how I ended up at his house tonight?  The place where I needed to be.  I miss my sister Barb.  I weep for loss my daughter Justine feels for her sister Haylee.  I can only imagine what my brothers felt 17 years ago, and what my sons feel today.  I cannot imagine what my niece Randi and nephews Jerry and JC felt then and now, losing their mom when they were in their teens.  I only know that I've needed my mom more this week, than I can remember ever needing her before and she's been in heaven for nearly seven years. (Ten years after she lost her daughter Barb.)

So how do people make it through life without a sister?  They just look for hope in others.  They find joy in different places.  They make room in their hearts for the people who love them and miss their sister too.

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