The Burden

I came to a realization this morning about the burden I feel:  I need to stop blaming and forgive those involved in the tragic death of my daughter Haylee.  I wasn't really acknowledging the fact that although I have always believed that her death was caused by a terrible accident and that I couldn't blame the 20 year old pizza delivery girl, I needed to blame someone.

I even went so far as to put a bit of the blame on Haylee herself, for walking on the shoulder of the road, the wrong way, with traffic, when I knew she knew better.  I continue to believe the greatest blame goes to the city of Swanton, for not having sidewalks in a residential area.  I believed I was okay with this way of thinking.

But, a few weeks ago, when the driver was indicted with the minimal charge of leaving the scene of an accident, my heart revealed the lies I was telling it.  I wanted the driver to have some part of this accident.  After all, the car she was driving, struck my daughter and threw her body several feet into the middle of an empty lot where the injuries she endured caused her to be unresponsive at the scene.

I wanted our legal system to blame the driver - because I couldn't.  And now, I blame that same system for what seems to me as gross neglect of the fact that my daughter died.  It's as if the end of her life has no place in this terrible accident.  I can't make sense of it.

It's my burden.


Comments

  1. Beth O'SheaSeptember 3, 2014 at 9:52 PM

    Mary, I feel your pain, shock, utter confusion, and disbelief and pray daily for all of you as you walk through this horrific journey. Unfortunately, the "system" fails because of the parameters that are set up,they do not acknowledge the human element of loss and pain. Haylee's life and loss of it, ARE the true tragedy of this terrible accident. While we cannot see it, I imagine that this young girl who hit Haylee won't ever be able to forget Haylee, her life, or that day that changed both of their lives...I'm praying today for God to ease your burden. May something good come of this difficult situation.

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