Just 40 Days

We make a fuss over keeping a baby alive for 365 days!  Or maybe its the baby who was strong enough to survive. Which ever the case, many cultures

My mom and her two brothers. This is a photo of my mom and her brothers.  I think she was still in high school, so it was taken in the early 1950's.  They were visiting my Aunt Dorothy, aka Sister Carollette, in Tiffin. My Uncle Joe died last night. He was my mom's oldest brother.  She was the youngest of six children.  Uncle Joe (JC) joins his parents, his wife Aunt Sandy, and his brother, Uncle Phil and sister Norma, my mom.  It makes me happy to know they are all together in heaven.  This got me thinking...thinking about heaven. What would we do if we didn't believe in heaven?  I cannot imagine the loss. Heaven gives us hope of more life! A life that is so much more than we can imagine. I love heaven. I talk to people in heaven all of the time!  Those 'people' are called angels. I know alot of angels! I'm so glad that my parents taught me about it.  I could not live on this earth without heaven!

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Three years ago, I attended a Casting Crowns concert with my friends Wendy and Eric.  It was shortly after Haylee was killed by a distracted driver.  I really needed to hear the song, Just Be Held . I had never heard it before and it helped me to let go.  I was tired of being strong. I was being strong for me, telling myself that it was just a horrible accident. (We didn't know the driver was on her cell phone until a year later, when the prosecutor released the phone records.)  I kept thinking that Haylee is in a better place.  No more suffering of kidney stones.  I told myself a lot of things to help me to understand this loss. I remember just crying throughout the song at the concert.  I still cry when I hear the song on the radio.  It's funny, but the more tears I shed, the stronger I become!

I'm no expert, but I've been around basketball my entire life and have noticed a few things over the years. I read a great article about the positive aspects of the sport on women but I've also observed that just as basketball changed, so did American culture.  I'm not sure either of them realized the impact they have on each other, but here's my take. Basketball was invented in the 1890's and there were only thirteen rules.  Life was simpler then.  By the 1930's, more rules were introduced.  All levels of basketball have their own rules, but it seems as though the NBA introduces something and it takes about five or ten years for those changes to trickle down to the NCAA and then onto High School. I'm not sure that get rid of rules, they just add to them.  Some rules don't really change, they are just not enforced anymore.  (I remember when women's basketball had six players.  Three on offense and three on defense!)  Here is a list of ...

It's been a long year of recovery for me, and for my dog Aiden.  He's just as out of shape as I am.  Actually, he's probably in worse shape as I've been able to go to the YMCA and workout some.  But that's changing. I've take Aiden on three walks, in three days.  Each is a little longer.  I can tell when he gets tired and I push him just a little further.  Yesterday we made it two miles and we'll stay there for a while until our time improves. Currently it takes us 40 minutes to get those two miles in.  My goal  is to get that closer to 30.  We mostly walk, but I'm starting to jog a little of it.  I'm hoping to get back to jogging most of a three mile walk with Aiden. When we get home from our walks, he lays on his bed and falls asleep.  In fact, he's snoring now!

When I think of the word fellowship, I'm reminded of the pre-festival parties at St. Thomas Aquinas church. This party was for the workers to gather, have fun, relax and get ready for the big work they would be doing the following week.  It was great!  It was the 1990's and it seemed that people took the time to do those kinds of things...volunteer, support, enjoy community. Thirty years later, I think that fellowship doesn't happen as often.  People are too busy.  The only time they make time for fellowship is when it's combined with other things like a fundraiser.  Or if their attendance is  'required' by their employer.  I think that fellowship is so important that communities that are able to continue to 'fellowship' will thrive and those that struggle to have down time to relax and enjoy each other will not. Cheers to fellowship!   Sláinte !   The closest term you can use to toast someone "cheers!" in Irish Gaelic. More accur...

Seek clarity before jumping to conclusions. For when the conclusion is erroneous, arguments will follow.  But don't worry about the arguments or discussions for they help clear the air.  They sort things out.  They help us grow!

Another Wednesday and we're at the halfway point of Lent.  It takes weeks to develop new habits.  I think it takes even longer to break old habits!  I want to take this time to see how I'm doing on my H Goals  : Health Happiness and Heaven. I feel healthier.  My ankle and feet are improving. I've been able to workout longer, I even jogged a little. I still weigh the same, hovering around 200 pounds.  I know that I'm not as strict with eating healthy as I could be, so I have to be comfortable with the slow progress.  Goal: Continue to work out and eat clean! The weather has been nicer so my happiness always increases with the sunshine.  I've been working on listening to others and continue with the Best Lent Ever:  Resisting Happiness program.  When I focus on God and others, my issues are less, and I am happier.  Goal:  Continue to think about others! I've really been trying to listen to what God needs me to hear...

I'm lucky to have been born in 1960.  Life was a little more slow and easy.  People of good character were all around.  The were my neighbors.  They owned the neighborhood store on the corner.  They were seen on TV with shows like Lassie and Flipper, My Three Sons, and The Brady Bunch.  I was lucky.

How do we learn about life?  I learn from watching other people; listening to their stories; or reading about life in books.  We all have a story to tell.  It's important to share your life by telling your story. Just as, when people die, we all share stories about them.  It's how they are formed in our memory.  It's where we learn how to live. Share your story with someone today!

Most of my life, my feet were about a size 8 and I was active 'normal' athletic type of person. Now I have flat feet and they are about a size 10.  Arches sure do make a difference in shoe size!  Over the past five years I've developed pretty much constant shin splints and more recently seem to be developing bunions!  YUCK to both of those!  But it's me and my feet. So I've learned the term, 'overpronation' and wondered what the heck it meant. So I looked it up and found that (over)pronation means low arch and pronation is how your foot hits the ground and distributes your weight.  Since I am overpronator, my big toe and arch of my foot are trying to do the work that the ball of my foot is supposed to do.  I can tell this every time I take a step.  My foot does not 'roll' from heal to toe.  I have to purposely think about it. I don't know if most of this is because I wasn't 'allowed' to walk for most of 2016 and my brain forgot ...

The first step to change is to be aware of the need for change.  In the age multitasking or doing three or four things at once, it's hard to have any awareness at all.  Without awareness, how can I know what or where I need to change?   This lent, I've been trying to focus on the things I need to change.  I need to quiet myself and listen to the world around me.  When my mind is quiet the world seems brighter.  I'm able to listen better and that's always a good thing. A couple of days ago, I watched this video  from the Best Lent Ever.  It was talking about prayer.  Praying constantly - how can anyone do that?  Well, everything we do can be transformed into prayer.  Even our sleep can be changed into prayer!  Who would not want to do that? Here's how: Every hour, take 10 seconds to say 'God, I'm offering the next hour in prayer to you.  Please help my children to find and follow you again."  (or for whateve...

Everyday, I thank God for Stephen & Rose Quinn.  My great-grandparents that immigrated from Ireland. Without them, I would not be who I am today. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Wouldn't it be nice if everything we heard was good news!  I mean really, why do people crave the bad news?  Is it because hearing bad news helps us think our lives aren't that bad?  Giving us excuses to whine and complain. What if we heard good news and shared congratulations or gratitude?  Wouldn't that make life more bearable?  When we see and share the good, we get more good.  Today is March 16th, and this reminds me of one of my favorite versus from the bible:  John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.    For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

We are trained by our parents from the moment we are born.  They train us that food will come every 2 hours.  We trust them and they follow through because they love us.  Lent is a time for us to listen to God, as He sends signs for us to make a change.  He loves us too! When we were born, we were given our bodies.  We only get one.  We need to take care of it by eating good food and moving our bodies through space, aka exercising.   I know first hand how much better I feel when I eat good foods.  (My definition of good foods, are foods that are made by God as opposed to processed foods, or foods made by man.) I also know first hand that I train my body to like the foods I eat!  It's up to me to do the training.  I can do this!

Perspective:  It helps to look for the good in your life.  See good, feel good, be good.  Sometimes, people think it's too hard to find anything positive.  It's so much easier to wallow in the murkiness of negativity.  It's hard NOT to contribute to the smog that life sometimes brings. It helps me to remember that God made all of us to be the helpers.  We were made for service to others.  We were made to love one another.  Go out and be well.  The world is a brighter place because you are in it!  Look for the dark spots in your life and find the good.  They're there if you look for them.

While I was walking my dog, Aiden, I heard an old song from Coldplay, A Sky Full of Stars.   I believe its a love song.  I like the words "cuz you get lighter the more it gets dark".  I love to look at the stars.  They remind me of my sister Barb.  We always looked at them together. Today is the anniversary of her untimely death.  She was 39 years old. Her children were 14, 16, and 18 when she died.  My mom and dad turned 63 that year and I was 37.  Barb was young. Today is the her 19th Heavenly birthday!  How many stars have I seen in those 19 years?  Too many to count.  How many opportunities for me to know she is happy.

Over 35 years ago, back when I was in high school, I bought this card.  It has been in wallet every since.  I hadn't seen it in a while, but I recently stumbled across it while I was searching for something else. I took it out and looked at it.  It made me think. I remember when I got it, it was early in my senior year.  I was at one of the many card shops at the mall.  My friends were buying other things, and I chose a couple of these wallet size cards.  I remember thinking that I always want to remember to choose happiness. Finding it again, also made me think about how many different wallets and purses this card has been a part of. All of the different stages of my life.  I think that its wonderful to find this reminder at just the right time.  It's no coincidence.  God works in mysterious ways.

Aiden Six years ago, I got a dog.  I went to my local humane society's web site and looked at few photos before going there.  When arrived, I discovered the dogs I liked online were much larger than I thought. I wanted a 20-30 pound dog. So I  had to look at some more dogs. "Snowball" was in the puppy room. (I love snow!) As you can see from his picture, there is nothing snowballish about Aiden.  I think the dog warden names the dogs from a list like they name hurricanes.  The sign on his crate said his birthday was 1/13/11.  (The same birthday as one of my kids, Haylee.) I took those two signs as a sign that he was the dog for me. Although he was in the puppy room, his listed birthday put him at eleven months old. (Practically full grown!) He looked about 20 pounds, about the size I wanted. He had just had surgery so we couldn't play with him that day. So I had to come back the next day. Snowball turned out to be a sweet heart so I rescued hi...

March and April, no wait, Lent is hard for me.  You see, I associate Lent with the losses of my sister Barb on a Friday, (3/13/98), during lent and my daughter Haylee on (4/11/14).  It's hard to lose someone you love.  Since everyone grieves differently, the people I would like to grieve with, my family, (who are grieving at different levels than I) are --- let's say --- "unavailable" to share their grief with me. I can see why and how GRIEF tears families apart.  I miss my sisters.  I had four, but when we lost one of us, Barb...some of grieved in different ways.  So we grew apart.  Then when we lost our mom ten years later, the divide became greater.  I know that there are lots of other things that divide us, but I believe it began with grief.  Grief changes you. So a few years after my mom died, my daughter died.  I think that my sisters do not know how to talk to me about this.  Perhaps they think I need to get over it or...

Many of the problems I have at work are little puzzles.  I work in technology.  When you mix people and machines, every event is a mystery, waiting to be solved. Some are so odd that even I can't copy it.  I try to reproduce the situation so that I can understand it and sometimes explain it to the person so that they can prevent the oddity from reoccurring. I have other mysterious events in my life.  With my health, I have some tingling and numbness in my fingers, that happens when I move my legs and or when I move head. In my faith - well faith itself is a mystery.  I'm always trying to understand the situations in my life and what lesson or purpose God has for me.  I try to always look for the good in it, and leave it as God works in mysterious ways.  Perhaps God is the greatest conundrum of all.

I admit it, sometimes I don't put my whole heart into things.  Sometimes I don't try as hard as I can. Sometimes I just do what is the minimum requirement of me.  Who do I hurt when I do not put my whole heart in? That  depends. When I don't put my all into listening to others I am hurting both them and myself.  I miss the opportunity to learn from what they are saying.  I miss the chance to be supportive by validating them. If I don't put my all into my workouts, I'm cheating myself.  Sure, any workout is better than no workout, but I'm not going to get same results as if I gave it my all. When I think of giving my all I am reminded of the greatest commandment:  Love God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, with all of your might.   God wants all of me.  I grow when I give my all.

Heaviness can come from feeling full or being overweight.  It can also come from grief, worrying and depression.  It's really heavy when it's a combination of things.  Then the weight can feel overwhelming. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the weight of my day.  The stress I sometimes feel at work coupled with the pain of recovery I feel in my legs and feet.  It's on those days, that it's hard NOT to come home and just grab a snack and sleep.  It is on those days that I really struggle to make healthy choices for myself. Some of the healthy choices I make are to choose a whole food, low calorie type of after school snack.  Or when I choose to take a cat nap, 5-15 minutes of sleep, to revive myself and then cooking dinner for my family so that we don't end up snacking on processed foods all night. Going to the YMCA for a cardio workout is another good choice I can make for myself.  And making time to read the email and watch the video from the...

Whether we want to admit it or not, each and every one of us is fighting a battle.  Some of us will complain about our battles all day long.  Others will never admit that there is ever any conflict in their lives.  But if I've learned anything from the 56 years of life I have lived, I've learned this:  Life is hard and SOMETIMES it's not. It's like the weatherman saying, partly sunny.  Which means overcast with a chance of sun.  It took me a long time to realize that partly cloudy is better! So, if I'm fighting a battle, you must be too.  Are you in my battle?  Maybe...but most of us fight battles against ourselves.  We don't trust. We forget all of the things we've learned in our lives. We hold grudges. We think that people will never change.  We think we deserve all this pain and misfortune we are experiencing. If all the people in the world are feeling this way and we took just one moment of our lives to acknowledge their b...

Sometimes, the change we want is not the change we need.  It's hard to change.  Habits are hard to break. But it can be done!  I know, I've made lots of changes and have grown and matured throughout my life.  Change is constant. The best way to change is just to start doing things the way you want to change. Believe in yourself!  I remember ten years ago, when I won the WITW contest and ended up loosing 90 pounds in nine months!  I just have to remember that change takes time.  New habits take time to develop.  I can do this!

My parents are great teachers.  Everything I've learned about faith, love and life has been influenced by their examples.  A few years ago, I was called to an emergency at the hospital for one of my children. I didn't want to be alone, so I called my dad to join me even though it was late at night. I called my dad for support and he came.  Just like my daughter Haylee had called me for support. At the time, I remember thinking to myself: Will she always call me when she's in trouble?  AND then I remembered, hey Mary, you just called your dad when you needed something.  So I learned again that parenting never ends. So this lent I'm participating in an online series  Best Lent Ever   Today's question is:  Have you ever wanted something more for others than they want for themselves?  Every parent in the world will say yes to that question.  So when we remember that God is in fact, a parent to all of the people of the world, we can try...

Have you ever read the bible?  I'm not one who has read it cover to cover, but I have read parts.  The Old Testament is full of scary stories.  Yes I called them scary. Sometimes I read Book of Job when I'm feeling down.   Job had it all and then he lost it.  He tries to figure out why.   What lessons must he learn? Most of the time, I turn to the bible for inspiration on things going on in my life.  I have a Women's version of the bible, where it has an index in the back with topics I would be struggling with.  It also has inspirations, written by women who were struggling with the same thing. I have realized, that during 2016 I did not seek solace in the bible.  It was the year I had two foot surgeries; the year I lost direction.  The year I fell into despair and depression.  The year I chose to focus on pain.  Awareness is the first step to healing!

All of the things I will focus on for the next 40 days begin with the letter H: Health, Happiness, and Heaven. Health:  When I think of health, I think of my weight.  I think of my feet.  I think of the numbness in my fingers.  I don't like to think of body parts. My body parts are supposed to work without me even thinking about them.  Aren't they? Happiness:  Typically, I have a happy disposition.  The word my mom chose to describe me on my Christmas stocking was Happy.  I'm pretty good at finding the good in everything.  Until last year...my health took a toll on my happiness.  Pain has a way of doing that. Heaven:  I will keep my eyes on God.  I will be more prayerful.  I will listen more carefully to the world around me.

Anything can change during six weeks.  I know that I need to change.  I need to grow.  So with this forty days, I'm going to focus on the good things.  I am reminded that God made us to be happy.  It is His greatest desire.   I am also reminded, that my happiness comes from within me.  And when I am listening to what God wants for me, I feel joy.  When I am faced with decisions, I ask what should I do?  I think, what would Jesus do?  (I know it sounds like a cliche.)  But when I take the time to reflect, to think, to wonder what would happen if I chose this or that, it is then that I feel safe in my decision.  This is how I will find joy.