Just 40 Days

As if I didn't already know, my environment changed when my son and granddaughter moved in.  They filled my pantry with snack crackers, granola bars, and potato chips. There is ice cream in the freezer.  Today's focus is design: a plan to create an environment for health. I have been eating healthy for over a week now.  I have lost over 10 pounds and over 5 inches with 1.5 inches coming from my belly.  I feel a lot better than I did a week ago.  When I think of myself, and my environment five years ago, when I had an empty nest for a little while,  I am reminded of the comments my kids would say when they came home: There's nothing to eat! All you have is nuts and berries!  I would smile and say: I just went to grocery store, there is plenty to eat.  There's veggies and hummus, or have an apple!  So it looks like, a large part of my decline in health is my environment.  I must make the change back to what is good and healthy for al...

Taking care of me; encouraging my spirit; developing my body and mind, that is what today's focus is all about: nurturing.  When I take care of myself, I am defusing the stress in my life.  That is a big statement, 'stress in my life', as I tend to deny that I'm stressed.  I deny it by going through my life events by searching for the good.  Believe me, I am good at seeing the bright side of everything! But if I would be honest with myself, I would acknowledge that I have stress. I think that is the first step: Wow this is hard or this is stressful.  If I would acknowledge it, then I can better cope with it.  As obviously, I tend to overeat when I'm stressed.  How else would I have gained 15 pounds each year for the past three years, leading me to be close to 50 pounds overweight. So today I will give name to some of the stress in my life.  First of all, I have been a single parent for more than 25 years. I worry about my kids and they're ad...

Our thoughts control our actions.  Today's focus is think.  I read somewhere that we have thousands of thoughts per hour.  That's hundreds of thoughts per minute!  It's truly an amazing amount of brain power we are given to take charge of our body. I am lucky that many of my thoughts are positive.  But I'm also plague with stinkin' thinkin'.  I learned that term of negative thinking about 30 years ago in an Al-anon meeting.  It was referring to the times I let my brain believe that I wasn't good enough, or that I didn't deserve to be happy. Our thoughts determine our behavior.  I remember my favorite saying or mantra I used eight years ago when I lost 70 pounds and kept 60 of it off for nearly five years. "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." I also used to say: You only get one body, so you better take care of it.  Along with: If you don't care of yourself, no one else will. Today's thought to myself is all of those and...

I noticed that today's focus was not notice but listen.  So I had to edit my previous post. Listen is similar to the verb notice as it helps you to be aware, to pay attention, to give an ear and hear a sound. So I will be tuning into to my body and try to hear what it's saying. Believe it or not, my waist measurement is down two inches in five days!  I really was retaining fluid.  I also noticed that my bones ached yesterday.  That's something I don't usually feel.  Thank goodness, today they don't feel that way.  My muscles, which I have a lot of are trying to get used to the fact that I'm not retaining as much fluid.  I'm not as inflamed as they had been and they're adjusting with cramping, reminding me where everyone of them resides in my body.  I'm thankful that that too, seems to have subsided for today. I am totally amazed that the inflammation that my entire body was having is going away without the help of ibuprofen! For that I am to...

The focus for today is Move.  Nearly ninety percent of American's do not exercise!  This is astonishing to me.  Over half of my friends and family move their body through space by walking, running, riding a bike, or going to the gym.  I am lucky to be around active people.  Moving helps reduces stress and overall health. I must admit, my activity level has lessoned in the past three years.  I remember going to the gym for close to two hours.  Or doing laps at the track for 45 minutes.  Now I stay at the gym for about 45 minutes and am at the track for 30. So my goal is to increase these times by fifteen minutes.  Adding regular strength training back into my gym workouts and go back to doing 12 laps at the track instead of 8-10.  It'll be good for me!

Today's focus is empty and that means poop! Yes, that's a clipart of happy poop.  Hmmm - well here goes - It's poop talk and it's not even Sunday! Haylee loved to talk about her poop, so much though, that I restricted my having to listen to her poop stories to Sunday.  Those are memories I cherish. Back to my empty...fortunately, I have always been regular.  I could be Sheldon Cooper's roommate as I his 7:30-8:00 a.m. bathroom slot fits me.  I usually empty twice a day - every 12 hours.  And that's all I have to say about poop.

Today's focus is detox and I'm reading about some of the symptoms I may have at the beginning of this program: bad breath, constipation, achy, flulike feeling, fatigue...offensive body odor!  Why do 'they' always warn you of side effects?  I think they're trying to scare you away from it because if I would of read about the body odor before this I wouldn't have started!  All kidding aside, I slept well except for the three times I woke up to pee!  I started peeing alot more than usual last evening, without even drinking beer :),  and low and behold I lost five pounds of water!  I have to mention that when I started this, I had weighed the same for a week, between 190-192.  But on the first day, I weighed in at 196.6.  [Don't you just love a woman's ability to gain five pounds of water overnight?] So as you can tell, I'm feeling pretty chipper this morning.   I'm drinking a green smoothie, with kiwi, lime, mint, kale and chia seeds....

The focus for today is satisfy.  Mother Nature sure came through with a beautiful day!  I was able to get a walk in with Aiden and a workout for myself.  I'm supposed to answer questions each evening, as I go through these next 10 days.  So here goes: How am I feeling physically today?  I am feeling pretty darn good right now.  With the perfect weather and a nice soak in the tub, I'm good.  I feeling happy, due to the blue sky, and that I followed day one menus without any lengthy, if any, cravings.  I did go to the pantry once and spotted a granola bar...but I left it and all it's sugar for Carly. I'm glad I'm taking these 10 days for me.  I remember how great I felt when I ate healthy and took care of me.  I remind myself that nothing tastes as good as being the right weight feels!

I've been struggling for a couple of years with my health.  I'm not sick or anything, I just don't feel as healthy as I had been before.  Eight years ago, when I won the WITW contest from the YMCA, Mercy Health Care, and WTOL, I lost 70 pounds and did not take any medication.  I wore a size 8 or 10 and weighed in the 150's.  I maintained this for a few years but after I  turned 50, I seemed to gain 10-15 pounds a year.  I slowly grew out of size 10s, into 12s, and now I try to wear 14s. Today, I still don't take any medication - probably because I don't go to the doctor to check to see if I need any - my weight is in the 190's and the size 14 clothes I wear are tight.  I sleep pretty well but I feel like a slug most days.  I just don't have the energy I used to and my body aches. A few weeks ago, I decided to do something about it.  I read the book: The Blood Sugar Solution, 10-Day Detox Diet by Mark Hyman, MD.  What I read, made a...

Dad in his Quinntucky Derby hat. My dad is one of the best things that every happened to me. My mom would be the another. But today is Father's Day so it's all about my dad.  He's brave, strong, goofy and loving.  He is everything I need and more.  My dad has survived so many of life's trials and is still going strong.  He started his day as he always does, with Sunday Mass.  This year, three of his children joined him at his church.   My dad is the greatest role model I know.  He lives his faith.  He also teaches us how to lose and he seems to always wins the games we play.  Today's croquet game was no different, he was the first to be 'poison' and got me out first!  Turns out that was a good thing as it allowed me to start the grill and get dinner ready.   Thank's Dad for helping me to find the good in all things.

Derrick, Carly, and I were able to make it to the movies today.  We saw Disney's Inside Out.  I was unexpectedly pleased.  I didn't know that I would cry alot throughout this movie.  I was engaged the entire time and laughed nearly as much as I cried. Which was the point - we aren't always happy.  Sometimes it takes something sad to happen to show us the way to happiness.  I was reminded that I don't have only two emotions, happy or sad.  I need to get angry sometimes and scared sometimes.  I just loved the disgust character! Great movie - go see it!

Visiting with friends is good for the soul.  Today I was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with my friend Karen.  I have known her for about 10 years.  I met her while teaching high school at Central Catholic.  We both have four kids, worked in the same department, and have gone though the ups and downs of life facing unemployment issues, losing our mothers and sharing our faith.  I have always looked up to Karen as she is a model to her profession and spirituality.  She is matter of fact with her knowledge and I like the way she thinks. I thank God everyday for friends like her that I can look up to and go to when I have a problem or to celebrate just about anything!

It's hard for me to focus on driving when I am behind a black Ford Focus.  Today I was behind a black focus and a grey hatchback focus was right next to me.  There was no escape.  I had to drive, through the construction zone part of my journey to work, trying NOT to focus on the Ford Focus' near me. Will I always feel this way?  My brain tells me no, it's just a trigger.  Change your triggers!  Easier said than done.  So I suppose I will have triggers like dog walkers, Ford Focus, and beautiful blonde haired women with sunglasses on, that will always make me think of Haylee.  (Not that I need a trigger for that!)

It seems that my drive from work to home is becoming a war zone.  I'm forced to go one way, assaulted by other drivers who can't read nor merge, asked to speed up and slow down all with dust, dirt and other debris.  There are horns honking, trucks beeping and crashing sounds.  My drive home has becomes an obstacle course of shifting lanes, potholes and orange barrels. Why do the roads have to be 'open' during construction? It makes more sense to me to close the road for a few weeks to complete the repairs.  I would MUCH rather be inconvenienced for a short period of time rather than tortured for a year!  Wouldn't you?

Here it is, June 16th and I have enough variety of blooms to make a bouquet for the dining room table.  I can't remember how early I was able to do it last year, but I suspect it was earlier than now.  It seems like everything is about three weeks behind this year.  Probably from all of the snow that needed to melt! Cut flowers make me smile.  God is good!

I had good intentions to go to the YMCA after taking Aiden for a walk between rain storms...but when I pulled into their parking lot, it was empty!  Apparently, the storm knocked out their power. So...the hardest part of a workout is walking through the door...I only made it to the parking lot.  Now I'm home thinking about a pilates/yoga mat workout from a DVD.  Yes, I said thinking about it.  Doesn't work as well as doing it...but I don't want to now. I had good intentions today.  

I do love the rain and rain on the lake is a double treat.  I love how the water moves underneath the pelting of the rain.  I love how it rains on the lake but not on the shore.

It seems that everything reminds me of Haylee.  She was born on January 13 so on the 13th of every month, I think of that day.  Meanwhile, I'm at the lake, reading and writing and waiting for Skylar to wake up.  We're cooking steak on the grill and hopefully Steve will be able to bring a boat home from work.  Here it is June 13th and I haven't been on a boat yet!   Last year, I believe I had been on a pontoon on Lake Wawasee at least three times by now! Skylar & Grandma Selfie ..... Dinner was great and turns out I got my boat ride!

Skylar I got to spend the entire day with my youngest grandchild, Skylar.  She laughed the entire day...not kidding.  I could not help but feel the joy. She is self-entertaining and mimics everything she sees. A child's laughter is contagious.   It doesn't matter what they're laughing at or why.  It just is.  Skylar spins herself dizzy in a circle, falls on her butt, and laughs at herself.  She does this over and over...laughing every single time.  Or she leans over to the dog with her mouth wide open for a kiss, smiling and giggling as the dog licks her face. Laughter IS the best medicine!

Sometimes when I make the 2 1/2 hour drive to the lake, I turn the music way up loud and sing the entire ways.  Other times, I make a phone call and visit with an old friend.  Today, I chose to the former - singing! First I started with the radio tuned to KLove - a contemporary Christian station.  When I lost that signal, I opted for my Sara Baarelilles' Kaleidoscope Heart.  While I love all of the songs on this album, I sing 'King of Anything' the loudest with 'Let the Rain' coming in a close second...as it reminds me of Haylee. I wanna darken in the skies Open the floodgates up I wanna change my mind I wanna be enough I want the water in my eyes I wanna cry until the end of time I wanna let the rain come down Make a brand new ground Let the rain come down Let the rain come down Make a brand new ground Let the rain come down tonight

Carly and I went to get a haircut tonight.  She was soooo excited.  She said: "I want my hair 1/2 inch above my shoulders and I want it curly!" Knowing that her style would take longer, I went first. She patiently waited as I got my short haircut shaped up.  A little less than hour later it was finally her turn.  Our stylist, Michelle, cut three inches off her hair before they headed to the bowl to wash it.  From the moment the process started, Carly's eyes lit up. What girl, doesn't like to be pampered at the beauty salon?

I guess it is the season for loud pops in the night.  I think it starts earlier and earlier each year as I thought it was in July.  All that I know is that my dog Aiden completely stresses out at the sound. His tail goes between is legs and he begins panting.  It's hours before he settles down...poor Aiden.

The greatest use of free will is choosing how to react to the world around us.  Some days I make good choices.   Many days, other people, with their 'bad' choice of 'woe is me', complaining how it's them against the world, remind me to choose to see the good in all. Today was one of those days when God showed me several people choosing to throw a pity party for themselves.  Thank you for showing me, that my life isn't so bad. I chose not to listen to music during my walk with Aiden tonight.  Instead, I just listened to the people playing baseball, the birds, and the wind before the approaching thunderstorm.  I really have to focus on nature and the world around me when I do this, otherwise, my I think too much about things I cannot change. I found so much beauty in the color of the clouds and the way that the sky changed from blue, to grey, to darker gray, and to yellow just as it began to ran.

Sometime over this past weekend I heard something: In order to be happy you need something to look forward to. A light bulb went off in my head as I said tomyself:  Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about things or worrying about people that I forget to plan something or to just do something.  As a young mother of four children, my neighbor asked me how I stayed so happy.  I remember saying that I don't have time to worry - besides, my mom does all of my worrying for me.  When did I become my mother? So...what do I have to look forward to?  Going to work in the morning?  ----Actually yes, going to work is something to look forward to.  I spent a couple of the past six years unemployed so it's nice to be going to the same place and learning new things everyday for the last three years!  

Steve & Rose Quinn home on Bancroft - 1950ish My family is large.  Both of my parents were born in 1935, the youngest of six children.   I am the third born of their eight children and I in turn gave birth to four children.  The photo on the left was taken on a Mother's Day at my great grandparent's home.  Everyone went to grandma's house on Sunday. My mother and father did the same thing with us...visit grandma every Sunday after Mass.  My grandma's sisters were usually there along with my Aunt Kate and Uncle Bill and their 10 children.  We stayed all day. After grandma died in 1987, my mom wanted us to go to her house after Mass.  By then many of my siblings and I were married and procreating.  I had three children by then and lived in another state.  So this did not happen all that often except on holidays.  Fortunately, there is a holiday nearly every month - a reason for us all to get together as a family. When my...

This morning I enjoyed my coffee on the patio.  It's not the same view as the lake, but it is one that I like.  The sun is out, the sky is blue, the flowers are budding and the birds are chirping.  My dog Aiden is looking at me funny, probably wondering what I'm doing out here.  So I'll just tilt my head back at him to look at him funny while wondering what he's doing...eating grass...are you a cow or something? So what to do with myself on this first Friday of summer vacation?  (I take most Fridays off in the summer :)  I guess I'll start with a morning walk and hope to find someone to meet me for lunch or dinner!  Have a great day!

This evening, as Aiden and I were on our walk, my mind was buzzing, thinking of the many things in my life that made me who I am today.  I thought of things that happened when I was little, like when my sister Holly knocked her tooth out while playing on the monkey bars at a park near the Maumee River.  I thought of my mom riding her bike to work the lunchroom at Raymer elementary school.  I thought of family walks around our neighborhood in Virginia Beach, visualizing Haylee running the entire way.  She was only 2 or 3. All of these thoughts, random thoughts, came to mind within the first 10 minutes of my walk.  So in an effort to think about something else, I thought about writing.  I thought about how awful this blog is on most days...really I know.  I thought about the Weigh In Too Win blog I wrote 8 or 9 years ago.  I remembered that the good ones, the good stories were those that I spoke from my heart.  Writing about how I feel c...

On most evenings, weather permitting, I take my dog Aiden for a walk. Walking your dog is supposed to be good for both you and the dog.  It relieves stress and anxiety in both of you.  Most of the time, I would agree that this is true. But today, this beautiful spring day, similar to the one a little over a year ago, I thought of Haylee walking Lola. (I think my grief angel, Clarence, just wanted to pay a visit.) So, I'm walking around the park, with the sunshine in my eyes, smiling and greeting other walker's I pass.  I remember thinking of how happy Haylee must have been that 9th day of April, as she walked her dog.  I remember that thoughts like that gave me peace then and give me peace now as I think about them again. But my thoughts are not always like that, as sometimes I choose to be afraid to walk my dog; Afraid that I may get hit by a car as I do it.  I don't feel safe.  Everytime I see a black Ford Focus, I think of the car that struck Hay...

Today was the last day of school and I'm soaking my feet.  It's such a treat!  I don't do it often enough.  I remember when I used to do this once a month...along with monthly massage...oh the days when I made the time to take care of me.  I need to do that more. Last week I received a gift of trial products that included a lavendar bath soak.  I'm going to use that soon.

We really are just a tiny part of the world we live in. Storms remind us of that.  The weather of the past week, the rain and resulting flooding shows us how little control we have in our world. It is sad when big things like earthquakes, floods, or fires make our human lives harder than what they were before them.  I know that people always question why this happens. I think it happens to remind us of our part in the universe and that the universe by definition is huge and getting larger everyday.  It is all existing matter and space considered as a whole.  God made the universe and we are all connected within it. Light comes to the dark, healing comes to pain, and joy comes to sorrow. No matter where we are or where we choose to go we go as one.