Guilt

My heart has been so heavy these days.  If I'm not crying, I'm just glum.  I know that this is all normal - as if losing a child is normal - but now I'm feeling guilty.  Do you want to know what I feel guilty of?

I feel guilty that I think Haylee's death was a blessing.  I feel guilty because I see the good, that she is no longer suffering.  As I write this, I know that, although they are my feelings of guilt, they may not be rationale.  Seeing the good in all things has always been a blessing to me and my ability to cope with things that I don't understand.  Why in the world would I feel guilty about that?

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