Just 40 Days

As Advent began, I found myself still struggling, so I got myself a couple of props. First I purchased little battery operated purple and rose votives. It had been a long time since I used an advent wreath so this is a compromise. I must say that it helps.

As an adult, Christmas has not been my favorite time of year. It seemed to remind me of all I did not have. Somehow I managed to make the best of it and survived. That's just it, I've been surviving the holidays, not enjoying the holidays. I need to do a better job at living Christmas. Raised a Catholic, advent is no stranger to me. Or is it? What does advent mean? What is it to me? Advent is a time for reflection. It is a time to prepare. It is a time for prayer. With my new job, I have more time. I have less stress. What am I doing with this time? Today, I will take a serious look into my advent prayers. Prayers that I've fallen away from. Prayers for peace in our country. Prayers with hope for all good things. Prayers for love. Prayers to renew my faith in a loving God. Dear Jesus, As I enter the advent season, prepare in me a place for you. Use me to be evidence of your life. Use me to help others come to know you. I pray for my children, Derri...

I miss my sisters. Each and every one of them. I miss them dearly. Sisters are the first friends you have in life. They are it. I am the third of my family of eight. I am the second female. I had one older brother and sister and three little sisters followed by two little brothers that were born a decade after me. My parents had five girls! Oh my!

Today is the 40th day of making new habits about taking care of myself. I really don't know how I'm doing. Having broke my leg on day seven, just one week after deciding to make changes. I know that I've been eating better and am still 'dry' on the alcohol front. It's good that I can control what I put into my body as I can't really exercise. Unless you call crawling up and down the stairs exercise! I'm hoping my triceps will be spring ready with the dips I do as I push myself up the steps. I can't get on a scale to see if I lost weight. I know that I've lost all the muscle in my broken leg, so weight really doesn't matter at this point. How do I feel? I don't feel sluggish or bloated, so that's a good thing. I may be wearing jeans tomorrow, as my laundry basket is full of my stretch, sweat, or leisure clothes. So, time will tell - I will continue on my quest for another 40 days of taking care of me- my mind, my body and my sp...

Today I was able to get my 1st dose of the Pfizer - Covid 19 vaccine. Our county vaccinated 8,000 teachers in two days! It was very well run. I was in and out in less than 30 minutes including the 15 minute wait afterwards. It's been about five hours since and my arm is a bit sore now. I can't remember the last time I got a vaccine. Probably a tetnus shot. --- Those really hurt. Anyway, I'm glad to do my part to get this pandemic under control. As I look at my calorie tracker for the day: 1750 calories food and 59 oz. water.

I know we are in a pandemic and have be quarantining for 11 months now, but I have not left the house for 10 days! I have not driven in twelve. Will I remember how to drive? Have I gone this long before? I think I must have when I had surgeries in the past. Usually returning to the doctor a week later to be told what I can do. I look outside and the sun is shining on the blanket of white and it looks so beautiful. I wish I could go out in it. Soon...soon. As I look at my calorie tracker: 1334 calories food and 46 oz. water.

Well I'm back on the scooter I used for the two foot surgeries I had in 2016. It sure is better than the crutches! When I ring the bell I will think of the now retired librarian at our school who gave it to me five years ago. As I check my calorie tracker for today it states: 1694 calories food and 51 oz. water.

So I went to the podiatrist today. I thought I would get a cast but I got a boot. As I check my calorie tracker for today it states: 1461 calories food and 42 oz. water.

As I check my calorie tracker for today it states: 1568 calories food and 51 oz. water.

At St. Anne's ER Today started out as a great day!  Snow was on the ground.  I made pancakes.  And then I went out to shovel with my granddaughter.  We were about halfway done when I slipped on some ice.  My body went in the direction I was going and my foot went in another.  I couldn't believe it!  I cussed. I felt like vomiting.  It hurt like hell. My neighbor walked towards me to help me up and he slipped on the same ice!  He landed on his butt and was okay.  They helped me in and I proceeded to ice and elevate.  I did this for an hour and when my granddaughter came in, I had her wrap what I thought was a sprain with an ace bandage.  After three more hours of ice and elevate, I was still in pain...pain enough to put tears in my eyes. So off to the emergency room I went.  90 minutes and some x-rays later, I left with the diagnosis of a closed break to my right fibula.  I have never broke anything before in my life! ...

1st Coat Primer It's Saturday and a snow storm has been predicted.  Snow has been predicted before without any results, but they expecting more. So I, like others headed to buy some salt. I also purchases some paint for the tiles around the fireplace in my living room.  I can't believe I'm going to paint them, but after looking at them for the past year, I think they need an update.  I purchased a shade of white called 'Greek Villa'.   The plan is 2 coats of primer and 3 coats of paint.  Fingers crossed!  As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1351 calories food and 51 oz. water.

I feel good and tired! Today I finished a large part of a big job that is usually completed in the summer months when students are not in the building.  I also found time to take my dog, Aiden, to the park.  I thought I was going to walk a mile with him but we both thought it was too cold.  So I just let him run for a while in the empty field.  Now to move away from the computer and relax! As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1756 calories food and 68 oz. water.

  My day didn't start out that great but right now, I'm feeling pretty good.   Just when I thought I had the chronic inflammation related to the two foot surgeries I had in 2016 under control, my ankle was swollen again. All last night and into this morning, I could hardly put any weight on it.  Unfortunately, I had to get up three times to go potty!  I guess my body was ridding itself of the excess water and toxins.  Still, I limped into work. As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1419 calories food and 59 oz. water.  And now I will head to my weekly massage!  Pretty good huh?

  It's Wednesday, we are standardized testing at school and deploying 140 devices.  I've been busy. I arrive to work early and leave exhausted.  The good news is, I solved many problems today, It was a good day! I came home from work, drank some water and made some chicken noodle soup for dinner.  I also enjoyed a peanut butter and butter sandwich which always reminds me of my childhood.  Practically everyday after school, I came home to peanut butter sandwich or peanut butter toast.  Comfort food.  As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1500 calories food and 51 oz. water.

       One thing I've learned through the years is that I don't always make good decisions about food when I have been to Happy Hour. I've also experienced the greatest amount of weight loss when I abstain.  In 2006-7 I lost over 75 pounds in nine months.  I kept that weight off for over 5 years---while attending Happy Hour!  It wasn't until some pretty big events happened in my life, when I turned to food instead of working through my emotions.  With that in mind, I've decided to be dry for these 40 days.  As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1489 calories food and 59 oz. water.

 Hello, my name is Mary and I am an emotional eater. I don't know when it started but I know that it is true.  I eat because I'm happy.  I eat when I am sad.  I also eat when I'm frustrated, mad, and scared.  This is not a good thing unless I'm hungry when I'm feeling those emotions. I need to eat when I am hungry and in order to do that, I have to first, let myself get hungry. I also need to do something else, like writing, when I'm feeling emotional. As I check my calorie tracker for today it states:  1710 calories food and 51 oz. water.

  Soon we all will have been in quarantine for a year. A year of staying home. A year of staying away from other people.  Away from the people we work with, our friends, our family.  It's been difficult for everyone.  It's been difficult for me.  I've been struggling with taking care of myself. I worry about my family, my dog, our country...just about anything to keep me from caring for myself.   Well now's the time to look in the mirror and get back to the basics.  My clothes are feeling snug.  My sleep is not as deep.  I'm sure I'm more on the depressed side than not and I saw the number 200 on the scale this morning.  And so I will write.  Writing is therapy to me.  I will eat better than I have been.  I will move my body through space.  I will brush my teeth. I will stretch.  I will read and I will pray.  Twenty days to break habits and twenty days to develop better ones!