Sometimes


Sometimes I turn the music up as loud as I can stand.  Sometimes I want to drive as fast as my car will go...it's only 4 cylinders...and so it goes slow.  Sometimes I want to drink all the wine I can find...but after three glasses, I forget, whatever I was doing.

I think that my ability to find humor in my situation is a good thing.
I think, that when I think of my situation...it is sad.
Sometimes, I am so sad, that I cannot find the humor and I just need to escape.

Escape = Drinking all the wine and turning up the music and driving as fast as I can.

Now of course, I only do this on paper.  I only dream of this as a way of escape.  I keep forgetting that I will never see my beautiful 30 year old daughter again...she would be 32 now.

I only dream that I would be in a loving relationship by now...I've been divorced for over 25 years.

Sometimes, I think that I would be paid for all the work that I do...I work in Catholic Education

Again I am reminded that life is hard. And as I heard on TV today:  There is no room for cowards in this house...so get back out there and play.  (as told by @HillaryClinton to @Scott Pelley)

I miss my mom.  I miss my sister Barb. And I miss my oldest daughter Haylee.

Comments

  1. Sometimes = Often at my house. Style, structure, and function are such cold words, but combined they yield the depth and breadth of our feelings. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone. Usually it is Quinn who helps me move forward. Today it was you.

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