Just 40 Days

As I was driving home from work today, the odometer on my 2018 Jeep Compass turned to 20,000 miles. I leased the Jeep in September of 2018.  It is the first time I have leased and I found myself thinking about mileage and how many trips I could take until my lease is up this September.  I have 10,000 left in the lease and eight months to use them...or to not exceed them.  I do not like this pressure.

I've been fasting  16/8 for three weeks now and I'm seeing results. The scale read 194.5 this morning.  What I'd really like to see is ten less pounds than that: <185.  Even though I weighed over 200 pounds when I started intermittent fasting, I've been hanging out in the 190's for nearly three years.  I'd been gaining and losing the same ten pounds over and over again.  With this lifestyle change (16/8) I hope to change that pattern.

As my eyes age, they feel heavier, like there is too much skin around them.  It feels like it's hard for me to open them wide but when I look in the mirror they look fine. So I guess they are.  This got me thinking about seeing the big picture.

Kids these days do not look out the car window.  They are too busy watching a movie on in car screens or looking at their phones.  No wonder they don't have the big picture when they learn to drive!

You were my 2nd baby, a scheduled c-section but the navy surgeon only worked on Fridays! It was Friday the 13th.  You were perfect! 

Family Bowlers Those who are familiar with my story know that my daughter Haylee was killed by a distracted driver in 2014.  She worked at a bowling alley for about 15 years or so.  Some might say, she grew up there. There were many times that I had to go to the bowling alley just to see her. I even joined a bowling league once, just so I'd see her once a week.  I will always remember the time she wanted to move back home and I told her the rent price.  It was much higher than the previous time she lived at home so she was shocked.  She asked if it was negotiable. And I said sure, do you want to wager some on bowling?  So we headed to the bowling alley where if she beat me, I'd knock $50 off the rent.  She won the first and the second game.  Feeling pretty confident, she said double or nothing for the third and I agreed.  Needless to say - Haylee did not win that game so the rent stayed the same! I really don't bowl much anymore, just...

As I mentioned yesterday, perhaps I'm in a midlife crisis.  I've been reading several articles and blogs:  The Midlife Crisis ,  10 Signs , and  Is it Real?  to name a few.  So I've decided, I am in a crisis and it is in the middle of my life.  But I'm not going to buy anything elaborate --- except maybe that trip to Ireland I'm planning this year.  I've been overly stressed and overwhelmed. I've been worried about my health and well being and I do feel inadequate in both my family and professional life though and that bothers me.  Nothing really has changed except my perception.  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  It's all me and how I look at things. And then I don't believe myself --- which causes a crisis!  UGH!