Just 40 Days

It's family movie night at our house.  We just finished watching Earth to ECHO , a movie none of us had seen before. I liked it.  It was Sandlot ish... about a group of childhood friends, solving a problem and becoming better friends because of it.  It also reminded me of the Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, Flight of the Navigator , or  ET as the plot envolved children and space creatures or aliens. Next up is Big Hero 6 which we saw in the movie theatre and I wrote about in November.  I hope I can stay awake til the end. After that, they may watch The Book of Life but I'm sure I'll be asleep by then.  I love movie nightA

Even though today ended with a pedicure and a new hair doo (I have bangs!) from Michelle at Classica Studio, it's been a long week.  When I finish writing this,  I plan on putting on my pjs and curling up with the novel I started...a story about going to the beach!...and falling asleep before 9:30. The weekend is already full.  I have got to make it to the ymca for some cardio.  I haven't been their since Tuesday.  After that I'll be heading to a bridal shop as my friend plans for her wedding in the fall.  Sunday afternoon is open house at work and I think I will also be tutoring. I hope I find time for some housework.  I know my laundry is piling up!

I'm not sure if it's denial or disbelief, but for sure it is a trick of my mind when I seem to forget that Haylee is no longer on this earth.  It doesn't happen that often, although it seems to happen when I'm tired.  Today I worked a 12 hour day.  And here I am now, wanting to talk to Haylee, seeing her picture on the wall, wondering what she is up to.  It only takes a few moments for me to remember or to realize the truth of the matter...that she died.  And then I'm sad.  As the tears come to my eyes, I tell Clarence, my grief:  Hello,  I haven't heard from you in a while.  Now get the heck out of here because if you don't leave, I'll start feeling sorry for myself and my family.  I'll start questioning why God would think that we needed this tragedy to help us to become better people.  And soon, my thoughts are more negative than positive. All of this happens in a matter of minutes before I'm aware of it.  So I take ...

A personal goal for me is to gain understanding; to be sympathetically aware of other people's feelings; tolerant and forgiving.  I struggle with this.  The hard part for me is the annoyance I sometimes feel as I tolerate another person's level of ... well anything ... work ethic, effort,  or understanding of the task we're working on. As an educator, I know that all of us think differently and that there are many ways for our minds to come to understand things.  I have a greater tolerance for young learners.  My patience is abundant.  But with older learners, I sometimes expect them to remember what was stated in a faster amount of time.  I expect them to recall information from earlier discussions.  It is those expectations that get me frustrated. I have to constantly remind myself that ALL learners, young and old, process information in different ways and at different speeds.  They all deserve my gift of patience when we are working...

I took advantage of a situation today when I noticed that my dad and I would be visiting the same funeral home.  I was going in support of a co-worker and high school classmate who lost their father and my dad was going because their father was the older brother of a dear friend of his. I wanted to go with my dad instead of with my co-workers so I could spend time with him.  It was nice to hear him share his stories, watch him console his friend, and to just be with him.  My dad will be 80 years old this year.  He is my hero.   I love you dad.

I was hoping for a repeat of the great sleep I had Saturday but instead, I found myself checking the clock nearly every 70 minutes or so.  I had so many strange dreams.  They were filled with real people from my life that I have not seen in ages.  There were people from grade school and the neighborhood I grew up in.  There were people from college and even more people that I work with.  The weird part is they were all part of the same dream. Now I know that dreaming means that I got some good sleep but I feel like I fought a war.  I wish I knew if it was something I ate.  I know I had dinner around six and went to bed a little after nine.  I did start a new novel, reading 50 pages before turning off the lights.  Perhaps I'm worried about something, but I can't put my finger on anything specific.  (I did start my taxes today - turns out the feds will be receiving a check from me equal to one week of work).  All that I know is ...

I don't know about you, but I am pretty grouchy and my vocabulary is hindered if I do not sleep well.  It's bad enough that my dog Aiden snores louder than me and that my bedroom is located in the front of my house so I hear traffic and voices of those walking by.  But when I wake up several times due to night sweats or crazy dreams, I drag the next day. There really isn't anything better than a good night's sleep.  Last night I had one of the best ones in a long time.  I had removed the flannel sheets from my bed which kept me from being too hot.  Either I had been having hot flashes or the flannel was just too much.  Whatever the cause, I'm grateful for a full night of rest.