Hole in My Heart

Anytime I hear a parent talking on what it feels like to lose a child they say the same thing: There's a hole in my heart that cannot be filled.  I sometimes wonder if it's a choice NOT to fill it.  It's been over four years since Haylee left the earth and I still have a hole.  It's different than the other injuries or scars on my heart left from loss.

I think the hole from my divorce took a while to become a scar.  I think that kind of loss is a choice as to fill it or not. Perhaps it is healed when it's accepted.  Injuries to the heart from sudden loss of life are a bit different.  They are as different as the relationship you had with the person who died.  I'm inclined to think that all loss of life leaves a hole in your heart.  Some are just bigger than others.

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