Just 40 Days

It's Wednesday and I have eaten restaurant prepared meals for three days in a row.  It is always my goal to make healthy choices when eating out, but that is not always the case.  For instance, on Monday, I chose a bowl of vegetable soup.  They brought me chicken noodle by mistake and I didn't send it back.  Instead, I rationalized "I haven't had chicken noodle in a long time, it's okay."  I know there was a huge difference in calories as the vegetable soup had zero meat and noodles/rice.  The noodles in the chicken noodle soup were the homemade hungarian kind.   (It was delicious.) Yesterday, my friends and I were at Olive Garden.  I had three breadsticks!  I love bread.  I also had plenty of salad and some lasagna fritta (fried lasagna!) and loaded pasta chips (an Italian version of nachos).  I would not consider any of these as 'healthy or clean eating'. The fritta alone is nearly 200 calories a piece and I had four! ...

Down 1 I worked really hard this week and I'm glad it paid off with downward movement on the scale.  It is disheartening I don't get the results I expect. Sometimes it's as if my brain thinks "you've eaten so clean this week, you must be a size 8 by now!"  Really?  I know wight loss is a long process. It took me five years to become 50 pounds overweight.  And I did that without even trying! (Humor me and laugh with me as I laugh at myself.) So, if I want to loose it in a shorter period than that, I'll have to work hard. A one to two pounds a week loss would be great!  I am worth it!

Some days, I forget to drink enough water.  I get busy, or I forget to take some with me, or I just choose not to make it a priority. 

I am my own worst enemy!  When it comes to eating, I can rationalize anything.  I tell myself these things when I choose to EAT something after dinner: Peanut-butter toast is good for you!  Have a bowl of cereal, mom always did.  You still have 300 calories to go. No matter what I say to myself, it is what it is - rationalization. 

Pretty soon, all of my nutrisystem food will be gone.  Then I will need to have portion control myself.  I have a scale, I know the amounts of a serving.  But during December and January, I've flexed more than I've followed the plan.  The results of that has been weight gain.  So until I run out of food, the only thing I should be flexing is my muscles.

Okay January, I started off at 197 pounds and now I'm nearly at 199 pounds. Sure I gained and lost two or three pounds in the past 21 days, but this trend has got to stop.  I'm in control - no I'm not in control, as I give in to my want of peanut butter toast before I go to sleep.  I 'allow' myself to indulge once a week with my friends.  Something has got to change before I see 200 pounds on the scale.

I had a busy day yesterday.  I was fortunate enough to visit some of my cousins.  First of all I did a little driving south.  It was a beautiful day for driving, blue skies and sunshine.  When I got to my destination, I was fed a fabulous meal of meatloaf, baked potatoes and green beans.  One of my most favorite meals!  (Thanks Bill!)  We told stories and visited for most of the afternoon. I headed home and stopped to visit my dad for while.  It was there I receive a text from another cousin who was in town visiting her grandchildren.  So I headed home to feed my dog and then back out to visit again.  We shared stories while enjoying adult beverages and playing a game of spoons. Fun was had by all.  It's so good to talk to my cousins.