Just 40 Days

Today begins another set of forty days.  I have completed seven of them so far:  Giving up things; without facebook, withough Haylee, or adding things; more prayer, eating healthy and exercising... I must say, I've really only successfully completed the first set - 40 days without facebook. All of my other challenges are ongoing.  They are ways I can cope with the things going on in my life.  I am grateful for the ability to write my thoughts out.  It is good to go back and read what I was thinking about days ago and what I think about the situation now.  To see how much I have grown. These next forty days, I will continue to focus my prayer life.  At times, I find myself worrying about my family and I pray that they find the courage to face the challenges of their day and that they continue to grow into the person God intends them to be.  I love you Derrick, Justine and Paul.

Every year I try to make it until November to turn my heat on.  This year I wasn't even close.  I turned it on weeks ago although I set the schedule to a high of 62 when I'm in the house and 55 for when I'm gone and to sleep by.  I've bumped up the 62 to 65 a couple times and today I set it to the winter schedule: 5am wake-68,  8am leave-62, back to 68 around 4pm and 62 at 11pm for sleeping. I'd like to blame this early arrival of continuous heated air on the fact that my granddaughter is in the house, but it's really because I am cold.  I've been freezing when I go to bed, that I thought about flannel sheets.  And flannel sheets usually don't come out until December! 

My 8 month old granddaughter is here visiting for a few days.  I haven't seen her for a few weeks and she has grown so much.  She crawls faster, laughs more (if that was possible) and has learned how to clap! She is pure delight!  Thank you God for the gift of life, for laughing children, and the hope of continued joy.

Sometimes I don't pray.  Sometimes I just wish.  Aren't they the same thing? I used to think they were.  But I've learned that when I pray I feel better but when I wish I still feel anxious.  So they must be different.

I think I'm anticipating the pre-trial hearing in Haylee's hit and run case this week.  It's causing me anxiety.  I don't even plan to attend although some of my family will be there.  I just wish life was not as complicated as we make it. There really isn't much I can do about the situation except to pray for the judge, the prosecutor,  the driver and her family and for my family; I pray that everyone is able to make good decisions and accept the decisions that are made.  I pray for the courage to listen to my family express their pain.  I pray for wisdom to keep my mouth shut.  I pray for hugging and communication as the day of April 9, 2014 is revisited. I usually do not have much anxiety.  I have learned to trust God and His plan for us.  It's not always easy but it does always help.  It helps to know that I am not in charge.  It helps to know that God always loves us no matter what.  It helps to know that my faith ha...

Today was a melancholy kind of day.  I tried to keep busy so that I wouldn't have time to cry: I walked three miles with Aiden, did laundry, computer consulting, went to the apple orchard and even sat on the porch for a game of 'color car'.  But I just miss my Haylee. Some days are harder than others.

I cannot remember the last time I was up to the Irish Hills of Michigan for a visit.  As a kid, we vacationed mostly on Wamplers Lake where my mom's brother, Uncle Phil & Aunt Bessie had a place.  One of the last vacations I remember, my sister Barb was still alive and she has been gone since 1998. Many of my relatives now have places in the Irish Hills.  Some are on Wamplers Lake; another is on Stony Lake, and this weekend I was with friends from work on Devils Lake.  The view of a lake on a fall morning is gorgeous! (Okay, a view of a lake on any day is too!)  I love the smell of wood and leaves burning and can't get enough of the crunchy sound as we walked around dreaming what was inside each cottage.  I drove around the lake as I left and took the scenic route towards Hayes State Park to see if I could remember where any of my cousin's cottages were. The landscape was filled with farms, pumpkins, lakes and trees.  There was still alot of ...