Just 40 Days

I've been single for over 25 years, so the valentine's my kids made for me when they were little are pretty much the only ones I remember.  Valentine's Day helps me to remember all of the love I have in my heart for my family.  Love I know is there, even when I don't always feel any coming back from them.

Many times in my life I have felt FINE.  Believe me I was not. Earlier today, my 10 year old granddaughter was feeling fine.  It was heart wretching to hear this.  She is such a kind, funny, loving, beautiful young girl.  AND she is always trying to fit in.   This happens at home, at school, and even at family events. At home, she is an only child.  There are not many kids her age in the neighborhood and they don't go to same school as she does.  Location is enormous in the ability to make friends.

It's Sunday afternoon, the end of weekend of laundry, cleaning, and binge watching the series "This is Us".  I know that I didn't accomplish all that I wanted but I have to be okay with that.  I wanted to finish my taxes. Instead, I cooked and cleaned and watched TV. I found the quote above, thinking it would inspire me to write something worthwhile.  But I've got the blah's, or the blues, or the I guess I'll go on poop patrol for something to do.  I'm in a funk.  I don't know what I need. I'm tired and depressed.

Sometimes, I just want to be alone.

I knew I was catching something last night.  I must've sneezed a dozen times in a row...twice.  I still got up and went to work.  What is wrong with me?

35 years ago I got married.

I like to drive.  It's the best way for me to find time for me.  I find being in total control of where I'm heading, listening to the music I want to hear and singing at the top of my lungs, very rewarding.

I'm 56 years old and I'd never heard the sound of thin ice before today! I had noticed a pair of swans coming in for a landing this morning on Lake Wawasee and went outside for a closer look.  One of the swans had gotten up and began walking on the ice that had formed overnight.  With each step that the swan took, I heard this strange, somewhat amplified sound.  This intrigued me to watch some more so that I could locate the source of the sound. If you google ' thin ice sounds ' you will be able to listen several different recordings of what I am writing about.  It sounds like twanging.  Or the sound springs make when you have a squeaky mattress.  My son compared it to the bending of a long saw. Ironically, it's the sound of tension although it reduces mine when I hear it!

As I drive along US 24 from Toledo, OH to Ft. Wayne, IN I am always impressed by the view of these giants at the state line.  Giants? You say:  Where are there giants?  Giant wind turbines appear in the skyline for about a mile of US 24 in Ohio and end when entering Indiana.  They are huge! I remember passing trucks with large propeller like objects on their beds.  It seemed as though they were longer than the truck bed.  I've read each is over 100 feet long and the completed turbine is nearly 400 feet in the air.  Those are the giants:  Seemingly peaceful, powerful, quiet giants. Giants that provide income to farmers and power to communities.  Wow!  I'm proud to be an American who supports saving our environment, our earth.

I am an American.  I was born and now live in Toledo, OH.  I have four children and three grandchildren.  I also have seven siblings.  My parents are both one of six children.  Their parents are all children of immigrants.  We are Catholic...well most of us are still Catholic. I love hearing stories of my great-grandparents.  Stories of how they left the country where they were born and came to the United States of America for new opportunities.  They came here to start a family.  They came here to better themselves and the country they became a part of.

A Ford Focus God works in mysterious ways.  It seems, that on my most stressful days, God reminds me to FOCUS.  Specifically, to focus on Him, on what is good in the world.  On days that I'm really feeling overloaded, I always end up behind a Ford Focus.  God gets a little help with this as there were nearly 600,000 sold in the United States in the past three years! As most of you know, Haylee was struck by a Ford Focus which led to her death.   (I never quite know how that will come out...my daughter was killed by a distracted driver.)   I used to always think of her, which I still do, but seeing the word focus also reminds me to keep my mind on the road.  A funny thing happens when I focus on driving. Besides see, ing the big picture, allowing me to be a better driver, my mind gains some clarity.  I'm able to revisit the day with another perspective. When I focus, my mind is allowed to process all of the information it receives.    So perhaps, I am now grateful for Fo