Just 40 Days

Skylar & Hayden So I've been at the lake for about 36 hours and the more time that passes the better I feel.  I don't know if it's baby Hayden, or 2 year old Skylar, or sharing with Justine.  I feel useful and I hurt less each day.  The wound from my incision is a bit angry with me.  I went to school Thursday without socks ... in the boot...the sweat and irritation caused most of the scab to come off.  It is angry and painful.  Even with that, I feel calm. I think it's the lake.  The water calms me.  I look out when I feel overwhelmed and it's ... just there... moving...flowing...free.  I love the water.  I have always been drawn to it...and I'm not a swimmer!  But I don't drown. Perhaps that's life...It's free, flowing, calm, and exciting... living.  When I was younger, I thought of life as a roller coaster...I love rollercoasters!

Today's R word of the day is refreshing: making me feel more rested, energetic, or cool.  I'm heading to the lake today.  I haven't been to the lake since Skylar's 2nd birthday in February!  I plan on turning the music up loud and singing all the way.  Hoping the sky is blue and the roads are clear! It's going to be a great day!

My favorite dictionary, Merriam Webster, states that the simple definition of resilience is the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens.  Or the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, or bent. I wonder how long it will take for my foot to bounce back!

As I was driving to work today, I remembered that I haven't been writing daily as I like.  This blog reminds me to take care of myself and allows me space to 'vent' or process things in my daily life.  When I am not taking the time to do this, I'm stuffing my feelings and frustrations...and do I have alot of that going on right now. I wrote about my foot surgery on March 9 and shared a few other things afterwards. In fact, it's been nearly a month since my last post. I never shared how frustrated I was during the non'weight bearing phase of my recovery. I would like to say I am rested, or more resilient, but that wouldn't be very truthful.  Today is exactly eight weeks since my surgery.  Two days ago, I was given the okay to walk, with the boot.  The doctor said I'm doing well but I can tell you, it hurts like hell.  I'm now experiencing a different kind of pain.  The pain you feel when you start using muscles and bones you haven't used for...