Just 40 Days

I've been single for over 25 years, so the valentine's my kids made for me when they were little are pretty much the only ones I remember.  Valentine's Day helps me to remember all of the love I have in my heart for my family.  Love I know is there, even when I don't always feel any coming back from them.

Many times in my life I have felt FINE.  Believe me I was not. Earlier today, my 10 year old granddaughter was feeling fine.  It was heart wretching to hear this.  She is such a kind, funny, loving, beautiful young girl.  AND she is always trying to fit in.   This happens at home, at school, and even at family events. At home, she is an only child.  There are not many kids her age in the neighborhood and they don't go to same school as she does.  Location is enormous in the ability to make friends.

It's Sunday afternoon, the end of weekend of laundry, cleaning, and binge watching the series "This is Us".  I know that I didn't accomplish all that I wanted but I have to be okay with that.  I wanted to finish my taxes. Instead, I cooked and cleaned and watched TV. I found the quote above, thinking it would inspire me to write something worthwhile.  But I've got the blah's, or the blues, or the I guess I'll go on poop patrol for something to do.  I'm in a funk.  I don't know what I need. I'm tired and depressed.

Sometimes, I just want to be alone.

I knew I was catching something last night.  I must've sneezed a dozen times in a row...twice.  I still got up and went to work.  What is wrong with me?